so let's talk penis.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
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