We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize