You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
