But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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