he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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