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  • The translation is simple: "I'm not gunna remember anything that happened tonight"

    Submitted by Phys on Oct 3, 11 at 8:04pm
  • Oh really? I'm cocky? You too, You make the wallflowers into skanks!Buy cock protection now. So you should feel special.

    Submitted by BlissText on Oct 4, 11 at 1:39am
  • "eartly" is probably early. If not, assume it's a misspelling of the recipient's name. Cocy... I recognize that typo. It's really bothering me that I can't place it because if I could, I'd translate it for you. "Youtv youchv" means the person tried twice to spell "you" or "you've" and gave up. "d tskunks!y" is probably skunks, which makes about as much sense as "couch protection now." Sryou is "you" "Sir, you

    Submitted by arthurlux on Oct 3, 11 at 6:03pm
    • Shit, got cut off. Sryou is "you" "Sir, you" or "srsly, you" Final verdict: This text would still make zero sense even if everything was spelled right and there were zero typos. I'm much better at translating drunktext when there's coherent English behind the typos.

      Submitted by arthurlux on Oct 3, 11 at 6:05pm
      • cocy is drunk for case, so "in cocy youtu..." would be "in case you"

        Submitted by adamwibe on Oct 3, 11 at 11:31pm
  • Arthurlux we need your drunkwhispering abilities STAT!

    Submitted by wubbazugg on Oct 3, 11 at 4:36pm
  • This is the best text from here i've read in a while. A REAL drunk text

    Submitted by angacid on Oct 4, 11 at 8:49am
  • Oh really? In case you try to make the wallflowers skanky, (we have) couch protection now, so you should feel special!

    Submitted by daisy_dukeluke on Oct 4, 11 at 2:25am
  • "Oh earl, in case you've made the wallflowers and skunks, couch protection now..sir you should feel special!"\n\nOP brought a skunk home but protected the couch with flowers

    Submitted by aerie_girl on Oct 4, 11 at 1:44am
  • Hahaha.... Understood. Thanks for trying!

    Submitted by wubbazugg on Oct 3, 11 at 6:50pm
  • Sryou is "so you should feel special"

    Submitted by tinifaust on Oct 4, 11 at 12:18am
  • Grrr why in the world did you post this it your fault i got so drunk that night and yes i do know its me cuz i still have this txt in it.

    Submitted by weny1717 on Jun 13, 12 at 3:02pm
  • oh really and so you should feel special. only part that's not total jibberish

    Submitted by 08GSXR600 on Oct 3, 11 at 8:39pm
  • This is exactly how I feel

    Submitted by pinky22 on Oct 3, 11 at 5:27pm
  • 402 is Nebraska, dude.

    Submitted by noconozco on Oct 4, 11 at 8:22am
  • Houston whores.

    Submitted by TheMoreYouKnow on Oct 4, 11 at 1:19am
  • Whatever it is, he sounds mad haha

    Submitted by hotmama66 on Oct 3, 11 at 9:25pm
  • wallflower, seriously couch potato you should feel special

    Submitted by BirdTattoo on Oct 4, 11 at 2:14am
  • I believe his finger was stuck on the backspace and there are actually words missing. It happens to me sometimes when I hold my phone the wrong way

    Submitted by clementine13 on Oct 3, 11 at 11:10pm
  • 402 is not Houston.

    Submitted by amich on Oct 4, 11 at 1:34am
  • "Oh Earl, um could you make the waffles, thanks! Couch protection now, syrup should feel special."

    Submitted by Twisted_84 on Jun 1, 13 at 10:24pm