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  • Submitted by Phys on Oct 3, 11 at 8:04pm

    The translation is simple: "I'm not gunna remember anything that happened tonight"

  • Submitted by BlissText on Oct 4, 11 at 1:39am

    Oh really? I'm cocky? You too, You make the wallflowers into skanks!Buy cock protection now. So you should feel special.

    • 49 72
      Submitted by arthurlux on Oct 4, 11 at 8:26am

      That might just be it.

    • 46 60
      Submitted by DrunkenChud on Oct 4, 11 at 12:37pm

      i really want this to be the translation.

  • Submitted by arthurlux on Oct 3, 11 at 6:03pm

    "eartly" is probably early. If not, assume it's a misspelling of the recipient's name. Cocy... I recognize that typo. It's really bothering me that I can't place it because if I could, I'd translate it for you. "Youtv youchv" means the person tried twice to spell "you" or "you've" and gave up. "d tskunks!y" is probably skunks, which makes about as much sense as "couch protection now." Sryou is "you" "Sir, you

    • 51 69
      Submitted by arthurlux on Oct 3, 11 at 6:05pm

      Shit, got cut off. Sryou is "you" "Sir, you" or "srsly, you" Final verdict: This text would still make zero sense even if everything was spelled right and there were zero typos. I'm much better at translating drunktext when there's coherent English behind the typos.

      • 58 77
        Submitted by adamwibe on Oct 3, 11 at 11:31pm

        cocy is drunk for case, so "in cocy youtu..." would be "in case you"

  • 98 72
    Submitted by wubbazugg on Oct 3, 11 at 4:36pm

    Arthurlux we need your drunkwhispering abilities STAT!

  • 67 58
    Submitted by angacid on Oct 4, 11 at 8:49am

    This is the best text from here i've read in a while. A REAL drunk text

  • 71 71
    Submitted by aerie_girl on Oct 4, 11 at 1:44am

    "Oh earl, in case you've made the wallflowers and skunks, couch protection now..sir you should feel special!"\n\nOP brought a skunk home but protected the couch with flowers

  • 64 61
    Submitted by daisy_dukeluke on Oct 4, 11 at 2:25am

    Oh really? In case you try to make the wallflowers skanky, (we have) couch protection now, so you should feel special!

  • 64 63
    Submitted by 08GSXR600 on Oct 3, 11 at 8:39pm

    oh really and so you should feel special. only part that's not total jibberish

  • 61 62
    Submitted by wubbazugg on Oct 3, 11 at 6:50pm

    Hahaha.... Understood. Thanks for trying!

  • 63 68
    Submitted by tinifaust on Oct 4, 11 at 12:18am

    Sryou is "so you should feel special"

  • 58 59
    Submitted by noconozco on Oct 4, 11 at 8:22am

    402 is Nebraska, dude.

  • 56 56
    Submitted by pinky22 on Oct 3, 11 at 5:27pm

    This is exactly how I feel

  • 41 32
    Submitted by weny1717 on Jun 13, 12 at 3:02pm

    Grrr why in the world did you post this it your fault i got so drunk that night and yes i do know its me cuz i still have this txt in it.

  • 63 86
    Submitted by TheMoreYouKnow on Oct 4, 11 at 1:19am

    Houston whores.

  • 50 65
    Submitted by hotmama66 on Oct 3, 11 at 9:25pm

    Whatever it is, he sounds mad haha

  • 45 58
    Submitted by BirdTattoo on Oct 4, 11 at 2:14am

    wallflower, seriously couch potato you should feel special

  • 49 78
    Submitted by clementine13 on Oct 3, 11 at 11:10pm

    I believe his finger was stuck on the backspace and there are actually words missing. It happens to me sometimes when I hold my phone the wrong way

  • 42 68
    Submitted by amich on Oct 4, 11 at 1:34am

    402 is not Houston.

  • 26 44
    Submitted by Twisted_84 on Jun 1, 13 at 10:24pm

    "Oh Earl, um could you make the waffles, thanks! Couch protection now, syrup should feel special."