I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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