so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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