"it" just moved
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
