the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
someone owes me an orgasm
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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