I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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