It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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