Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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