dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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