Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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