Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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