Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
