Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you traded sex for a burrito?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
