We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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