is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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