i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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