i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
