glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My vagina just clenched in fear
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
