She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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