Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
