just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
