Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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