i need an iv and a liver transplant
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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