I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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