i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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