let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
