So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
