Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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