Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
