how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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