I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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