At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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