She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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