whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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