Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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