My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize