i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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