im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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