Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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