Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize
