I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
