so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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