feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
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I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
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You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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