Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
