Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
third nipple confirmed
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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