It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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