I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
false alarm. still invincible.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
