We're facebook friends in real life
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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