You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
