Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
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