I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
