just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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