how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
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