My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
