we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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