It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
